Castle Bleck Oneshots: Untold Tales!
by The Chortling Mermaid
Summary: Our favorite ex-baddies and Lady Timpani are back! Sequel to Castle Bleck Oneshots: A-Z. Join Blumiere, Timpani, Nastasia, O'Chunks, Dimentio, Mr. L, and Mimi, as they go on adventures, share some stories, create chaos, and keep trying to get their lives together!
1. Pilot

**A/N: Hey, all! This is a sequel to Castle Bleck Oneshots: A-Z. Basically, this will be another collection of oneshots with a few story arcs. :p If you haven't read CBOAZ, here's what you should know:**

 **This is after SPM, and Dimentio, Blumiere, and Timpani are back, and Mr. L is too, and he's a separate person from Luigi.**

 **Mimi/Dimentio and Nastasia/O'Chunks is established**

 **Dimentio is a Luciminox (half Tribe of Ancients and half Tribe of Darkness)**

 **Timpani and Blumiere are thinking about having a kid/kids.**

A manilla envelope lay in the mailbox outside a castle within the void. Most mail was delivered by magic, or by messenger bird. This one was delivered by a bird named Birdly, and within the envelope lay news that would disappoint the owner of the castle, and his wife.

"Blumiere, let's open it together."

"Of course."

Their faces fell. Blumiere held Timpani close to his chest.

The trauma her body had suffered from transforming into a Pixl and back to a human, along with the influence of both the Chaos and Purity Hearts had rendered her near-barren. The chances of them being able to conceive were slim. Blumiere kissed his wife's forehead.

"We could adopt," she said. "Many children lack loving homes...It could mean the worlds to them."

Blumiere found himself smiling. He didn't want to put his wife through years of trying for a baby, only to find that it was impossible. He couldn't help but admire how she took things in stride.

"Of course. We could visit an orphanage soon."

"Tomorrow?"

He looked at her with surprise. "Are you sure about this? We

aren't prepared to house an infant or child yet…"

Timpani stiffened. He was right; the castle still needed renovating. Those open flaming lamps outside were a threat, as were the stairs, the sharp edges of the tables, not to mention the daily hazards.

"You're right, darling. We should start child-proofing and renovating first."

~CBOAZ~

The heads of the castle had announced their plans to the others that afternoon.

"Are you adopting a boy or a girl?" Mimi asked, voice pitched with excitement.

"We haven't decided yet," Lady Timpani replied.

"Where will you go to get the kid?" Mr. L asked.

"We don't know," Lady Timpani said. This was like her wedding all over again. She and Blumiere had more of the 'act first, think later' kind of temperament.

Lord Blumiere raised his staff as if to wave away further questions. "The fine details haven't been decided yet, but we'd like to ask for your help in making this castle suitable for a little one."

Nastasia fervently scribbled notes down in her clipboard.

~CBOAZ~

"Dimmy, why do I feel like you've been dodging me?" Mimi asked the jester. She had cornered him after the meeting.

"Perhaps it's because you interrogate me every time you see me. I feel as if I'm a suspect of a grievous crime," he replied, words smooth as dark silk.

There was a beat of silence.

"Sorry," she said. It was one word, but the sincerity of it was not lost on the jester.

Dimentio lowered his feet to the ground. "My dear, I know it is hard to understand why I'm not forthcoming about this subject, but one day I will be willing to talk about it. When such a day comes, you will be the one I tell." He kissed her hairline.

She wrapped an arm around his waist. They stayed in that position for awhile.

"Are you excited for the adoption?"

"It should make things interesting, I suppose," Dimentio said.

"Aww, you're such a softie...don't even lie!"

"Children rapidly switch between being like sponges thirsting for knowledge, and like thorns digging into one's side."

"Maybe it'll be fun!"

"You could hardly care for Mr. L when he was a baby for more than ten minutes."

Mimi's eyes went white with rage. "Like you were any better!"

Dimentio shrugged, placing a hand on Mimi's hips. "I suppose we'd make horrible parents."

Nastasia chose that moment to walk past them. Instantly the color drained out of her face. " _What_ now? Um...a-are you two—"

"NO!"

"Right...um…" she muttered, adjusting her glasses.

"Gosh, Nassy! Stop jumping to conclusions!" Mimi chastised.

"Déjà vu…" Dimentio murmured to himself. Moving away from his girlfriend, and again levitating he addressed the secretary. "Dear Nastasia, what do _you_ think about the notion of adding a child to this chaos?"

Nastasia straightened her spine and regained her dignity. "Uh...if that's what will make the Lord and Lady happy, then who am I to protest?"

"A paying resident?" Dimentio supplied. Nastasia adjusted her glasses, though they had been on straight. She was not amused.

"I think...it might liven up the place. Y'know, bring everyone together. Get some of us to take more responsibility."

" _Hey!_ We're responsible!" Mimi cut in.

The secretary frowned. "Mimi, just last week you started a fire trying to make popcorn, and burned everything on the counter."

" _Air_ popped is healthier, and how was I supposed to know that you don't put the microwave kind in there?"

"Because you don't put paper in a pot with boiling oil? Doesn't anyone in this castle read directions?"

Dimentio raised his hand. "I do; however, I don't always choose to obey like a mindless drone."

"K," Nastasia said before leaving. Apparently this conversation had raised her blood pressure.

~CBOAZ~

In the office she shared with Blumiere, Lady Timpani had been doing research on different orphanages. Most required all sorts of forms and background checks. She cringed—somehow she didn't think Blumiere would have an easy time with that.

Blumiere had begun measuring one of the guest bedrooms. Though it was mostly furnished, the bed frame was old, and the dressers were in poor condition. The closet would need cleaning, and the floors most likely would be better off with carpeting. Despite his education in magic, there were no dark magic spells for furnishing a room.

Suddenly, he sensed a presence.

"Show yourself, Dimentio."

The jester materialized in the air. Lord Blumiere gave him a once over. Slowly, he asked,"Is there something you needed?"

"Aha ha ha ha, I think you've seen this coming for quite some time," he removed his mask. "It's time you learn the truth, _brother_ , you and the rest of this castle."

Blumiere levitated so that he was at eye level with his former-minion. "Dimentio, I remember you...but then you were—"

"Dimidio."

Lord Blumiere rubbed his temples. This was going to be a long and confusing evening. "You are right in that I have been waiting for you to approach me. But, why now?"

"I was reminded when you and Lady Timpani were talking of bringing another Luciminox into the multiverse."

Dimentio's tone had a rough quality to it. Where it was usually mocking and effortless, it was hostile and dry.

Mr. L burst through the door. "Hey, Count! I got the tools you wanted!" He was holding a black tool box.

Blumiere glanced with despair at the wide-open door. Was knocking no longer a common practice? "Thank you, Mr. L." He turned to face Dimentio, only to find that the magician had disappeared.


	2. Dimentio's Story Part 1

**A/N: Hey guys! Here's the next installment. Here we'll get a little bit of the whole Blumiere/Dimentio/Timpani backstory!**

 **Pikminfan: Thanks! Omg! True...that definitely requires its own one shot. :D**

 **NictheWerecatqueen: lol, you'll find out in this chapter! ;)**

 **Space Dimentio: :) I feel the same way! Also this gives wiggle room as to what dynamic the new addition will bring to the castle (not gonna lie, I haven't decided what kind of kid they're getting ^^;; ) Haha, you'll see! And yeahhh xD**

A week had passed since Blumiere had that strange interaction with Dimentio. He had told his wife about it, only to find that she wasn't surprised in the least.

"Darling, I've never told you this, but I'd met him as well," Timpani said, "The only reason I didn't say anything was that I was afraid it would open up a whole can of sproingoings that we weren't ready to deal with. Now that Dimentio seems willing to discuss it, I think we'll be able to handle this well."

"When did you—"

"Let's let him tell his story first."

Blumiere nodded his head. He was wary of his wife's hesitation, but trusted that he would learn her reasoning soon enough. She was balancing their checkbook, and he left to get her some tea.

~CBOUT~

"Aha ha ha ha, thank you all for joining me on such short notice," Dimentio greeted from his podium. "Please prepare yourselves for the greatest puppet show you'll ever see!"

Mimi watched as her boyfriend summoned a massive puppet theater. He had told her the gist of his backstory an hour prior as he promised. She had known that he was partial to theatrics, but this seemed quite literal. Her eye was drawn to a miffed-looking O'Chunks. The DVR was full, and he was missing the latest installment of Flint Cragley.

The puppet theater had dark red, velvet curtains. It was made of a sturdy wood, and took up a third of the room. Tacky purple-and-yellow paint coated the wood, clashing with the red. It was a headache to look at.

"Was there any reason to turn this into a performance for the entire castle? Lord Blumiere muttered to himself."

Lady Timpani clucked her tongue. "And you had just started kicking that habit…"

Dimentio cleared his throat. "Now pay attention...I do despise repeating myself."

The curtains closed, and the room went dark sans the spotlight over the theater. Dimentio lazily conducted with a finger, and eerie music began to play in the background. Strings appeared out of nowhere, and puppets were sewn in mere seconds. The curtains closed, then opened dramatically.

It was time for the play to begin.

~CBOUT~

 _Once upon a time, in a faraway place, there lived two neighboring tribes: The Tribe of Ancients, and the Tribe of Darkness. It was your classic light versus dark struggle, respectively of course. The Tribe of Darkness was regarded as traitors, as their ancestors were the ones who stole the Dark Prognosticus away from the Ancients. Conversly, the Tribe of Ancients were thought of as weak souls, who could not use their powers to their full potential._

 _Our story begins in the Tribe of Darkness. A dying species were those who welded dark magic. Beginning with seven prominent bloodlines, only two strong ones remained. The alpha bloodline had one female heir, and the beta bloodline had two male heirs and one female heir. In the beta bloodline, disease broke out, and only the younger male survived. You can imagine that a marriage was quickly arranged between the alpha female and beta male._

 _It was a loveless arrangement, and only one son was born successfully. He was called...you guessed it, Blumiere. His name meant 'blue light', and it was because of his striking eyes that he obtained such a name._

 _Now, Blumiere's mother, was a descendent of the man who had stolen the Dark Prognosticus to begin with. She had sworn off dark magic after witnissing a tragedy too many. His father was one of the most powerful mages in the land. When she couldn't provide more heirs to the throne, he became angry. The other members of the tribe didn't have a good enough genetics. He became violent in words and actions._

 _One day in the middle of the night, she fled. She went over to the Tribe of the Ancients, where she wandered in disguise. She covered her dark indigo skin in a cloak, and was taken in by a gentleman. When he realized who she was, he was terrified, but she knelt at his feet, crying. She had been beaten, and just needed somehwere to hide for awhile. She swore she would never hurt him. He of course chose to help her, and slowly a bond formed. They fell madly in love, and she became pregnant, despite thinking herself barren. They had committed a grevious taboo, and would pay a terrible price._

 _Five years of living in hiding passed. Just when she thought she had successfully restarted her life, the Lady's life ended. It was rather ironic. The Lord's men raided the house and murdered the two, and discovered a Lucseminox cowering in a corner. He had both a dark and light protection charm, casted by his parents. None could kill him until it wore off. They kidnapped the boy, who's name at the time was Dimitri, and they changed it to Dimidio...which was based on the name of the taboo the Lady and gentleman had comitted._

"Was that you, Dimentio?" Mr. L asked.

The music came to a screeching halt. "Yes. Now please if you could refrain from interrupting, that would be most appreciated."

Blumiere sighed. "Dimentio, would it not have been easier to have a discussion about this?" His timbre was lowered, and his words were barely above a whisper.

Lights flickered on, and Dimentio stared at his landlord with a deadpan expression. "My dear half-brother, isn't this more entertaining? They don't call me the pleaser of crowds for nothing! Aha ha ha ha."

"Who actually calls you that other than yourself?" Nastasia's voice cut through.

Dimentio snapped his fingers and the lights went out again.

"'EY! I'm missin' me show fir this...make it good!" O'Chunks demanded.

 _Anyway…_

' _Dimidio', as he was called, was forced to be a slave. He was dressed in a jester's outfit, and a crude mask was forced upon his face. It was cursed so that he could never remove it. None were to see the abomination underneath. He met his half-brother one day. Dimidio was thirteen at the time. The lord had struck the boy's face with his staff. His offense had been reading books about dark magic in the library._

" _ **You**_ **,** _child are not allowed in here! Your kind is a disgrace. You shouldn't even," he struck the boy, "_ _ **Exist**_ _!"_

 _Blumiere came to the boy's aid. "Father! Why? Why are you doing such a thing to him?"_

 _The lord turned to his son. "Blumiere, this is a matter that does not require your input. Do not interfere with this abomination's punishment." For good measure, he hit the boy across the mask again, striking his eye. The boy writhed in pain. "My son, you'd do well to stay away from this child. Now go...your tutor awaits you."_

" _Yes, sir."_

 _And for awhile, that was the last time their paths would cross._

Blumiere lowered the brim of his hat. "I remember that."

Dimentio removed his mask and pointed at his bad eye. "I'm unable to forget it."

The tension in the meeting room was almost suffocating. Mr. L twiddled his gloved thumbs. O'Chunks, jaw flapping, looked back and forth between Blumiere and Dimentio. Even Mimi, having already heard the bulk of the story, shifted her weight from right leg to left leg. Nastasia and Timpani locked eyes.

"Dimentio...I think we'll need an intermission...perhaps we can continue this another time," Timpani spoke.

Before the jester could come back with a quip, Nastasia opened her mouth. "Yeah, it's dinner time, 'K?"

~CBOUT~

There was a knock on Dimentio's bedroom door."Hey, Dim." It was Mr. L. Dimentio opened the door.

"Yes?"

"Should I call you Dimitri?" Mr. L asked.

Dimentio's smile flickered. " _Dim_ or Dimentio is just fine...I won't protest to Dimitri." The mechanic nodded. Silver eyes flashed as they were drawn to something within the jester's room.

"What's in that little box over there?"

Dimentio floated to a few inches off the floor. "Ah, that's something I needed for a potion which hopefully will not be carelessly thrown upon my new carpeted floor." He went over to the box and stuck it into a dresser drawer. It was small enough that it would mostly disappear in the jester's hand.

"What?"

The master of dimensions stared at him pointedly.

" _Ohh_...uh...okay," he cleared his throat. Attempting to change the subject, and to get back to the reason he initially came, Mr. L spoke again. "So, like...I gotta know: why are you turning your past into some kinda sideshow, and why _now_?"

It was true, they had been living together for nearly two years since The Almost-End. It had taken a lot of adjustment and rebuilding trust...not to mention the castle itself.

"I suppose it was because," he lowered himself so that his feet touched the rug again. "Change is upon us, and I feel that closure is needed before one can move forward. And in order to do so...skeletons must be dug out from their closets."

"What does that—"

"If you could please leave...I have an event that requires my presence."

"O-Okay," Mr. L said before teleporting away.

"He's really improved," Dimentio mused to himself. He sat on his neatly-made bed. Pulling his knees into his chest, he collapsed onto his side. "I just...This is right; deception is a tiring and lonely practice. No more of that."

He hung his mask and hat on a bedpost. Then he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	3. Emergency

**A/N: Now it's time for a random plot to lighten the mood!**

 **NictheWerecatqueen: He really is! :/**

 **Space Dimentio: *hugs Dimentio and cuddles him***

 **Pikmanfan: Thanks! :)**

Mr. L would never have expected a call to action. When he had logged onto Mushrumors for the third time that hour, he only intended to kill time. Mario had sent him a message asking for a favor. Luigi was down for the count with a fever, and apparently there was some kind of emergency in the Mushroom Kingdom—one that was a two man job.

Typing rapidly, Mr. L grinned. This was his chance to do something good! Sure, his job was okay, but this would be just like volunteer work. Once he had assured Mario that he'd be there soon, Mr. L slammed his laptop shut, and flung himself off his hammock. He went over to his wardrobe, and pulled out a handful of green bandanas. He tied them together and made a makeshift cape. Today he would be a hero.

"The Green Thunder, Defender of People!" he yelled at his reflection, silver eyes becoming slits. He grabbed his toolbox, and ran out the door. Even though he was a responsible adult superhero, he would need to tell his mother where he was going.

"NASSY!" Mr. L called, listening as his yell reverberated through the cold castle walls. As he continued listening, he was aware of tiny, yet pointed footsteps.

"What is it? I'm really busy, 'K?"

Mr. L's jaw froze; the blue woman looked more stressed than usual.. "What're you doing?"

"I was helping O'Chunks clean his room," she muttered, averting her gaze. "Now. What. Is. It."

"Oh, I just wanted to say that I'm gonna go on an adventure with Mario, so who knows when I'll come back!" He took on a fighting stance. "Or _if_."

Behind her glasses, Nastasia rolled her eyes. "'K. I'm going to walk away now."

Mr. L shrugged to himself and went over to where Dimentio was sitting. The jester was reading a book in the kitchen.

"Hey, Dim. Can you teleport me to the Mushroom Kingdom?"

Dimension suddenly closed his book with an audible _snap_. The jester adjusted his hat. "And here I thought teaching the man to fish would prevent me from having to constantly spoon feed him."

Mr. L shifted self-consciously. "It's just that it's _really_ far, and—"

He stopped mid-sentence as he realized he was standing in front of Mario and Luigi's house. _Well, that was easy._ He went up to the cottage and knocked on the door. He didn't have a moment to breathe before the door was opened by the elder of the two Mario Bros.

"Oh, Mr. L! Thank-a goodness you're here." Mario greeted warmly. "Let's-a go, we don't have time to waste." Mario had a toolbox of his own.

Mr. L wondered briefly if he should have asked more questions about the quest itself. Mario was a man of few words, and it really showed when they walked over to whatever their destination was. The mechanic cleared his throat. "So, uh, where _are_ we going?"

"To Peach's Castle.!"

"Okay."

Seemed straight-forward enough. Perhaps the princess was in danger and needed extra protection. Mr. L definitely had the super jump for it—if only he'd thought to bring Brobot to assist him.

~CBOUT~

"Oh, boys! Thank you for coming on such short notice," Peach said. "It really is an emergency.

The castle was packed with toads who were aimlessly wandering around. Mr. L shuddered, their hive-mind-like existence always gave him the creeps. Sure he was friends with a few toads, but when they all got together, it was like they lost all capabilities to be fully-functioning members of society.

"What's the emergency?" Mr. L asked.

Peach gave Mario a pointed look. She sighed to herself, "The plumbing needs fixing."

The masked man looked between the two. "I'm no plumber."

"You did bring a tool box...that's a start," Peach said, "Anyway, it really is imperative that it gets fixed as soon as possible. I'd do it myself, but Toadsworth might go into a coma from the worry." She rolled her eyes in an un-princessy way.

Mario looked at him sheepishly. Not another word was spoken as they went to the basement of the castle. Pipes were everywhere, water was all over the floor, and the whole room smelled of mildew.

"What gives? How is _this_ an emergency you'd call me for?"

Mario shrugged. "Luigi has-a the flu."

"I'm NOT Luigi!"

"You did-a come from his mind."

Mr L. crossed his arms. "What the Underwhere am I even supposed to do?"

Mario began laying out tools. He assessed the situation, even walking away from his new assistant. "I just need-a you to do things when-a I tell you to do them. This is an emergency...if the plumbing is broken for too long, then—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Mr. L muttered. Walking over to where Mario stood, he managed to trip over his own toolbox. The Green Thunder didn't stumble—he fell in style—and that's just what he did, striking an 'L' pose. In doing so, he punched a weak pipe. Water burst out and sprayed him in the face, dampening his mask. "Oops."

Mario looked at him, regret pooling in his blue eyes. "Mamma-mia, this is not good."

"I'm not a plumber, okay? I'm a mechanic!" Mr. L defended.

Mario sighed and went over to the newly-broken pipe.

The pipes seemed to be color coded, though Mr. L didn't know which color indicated what. He wondered if the pink one he had broken had anything to do with Princess Peach's washroom. Mario handed him a wrench.

"Tighten-a that over there, I'll fix this."

"Okay."

 _Righty-tighty, and…._

And it was stuck. He applied more pressure. The wrench slipped out of Mr. L's glove, and nearly hit Mario in the head. The plumber's hat wasn't so lucky, and ended up in a puddle. Mario audibly groaned.

The mechanic retrieved the projectile. "Heh, sorry."

It was going to be a long day.

~CBOUT~

An hour passed, and the plumbing still hadn't been fully fixed.

"Mr. L!" Mario suddenly snapped. "Please, stop-a sitting around!" Mr. L had given up on the plumbing job about ten minutes ago, after losing Mario's plunger.

"I'm bored," he whined like the literal two year old he was.

Mario, red in the face, turned his back on the man, and wordlessly returned to his job. The water was up to his ankles. An alarm began to sound.

"Oh no!" Mario yelped. The watertight door began to close automatically. It was implemented as a safety feature after the flood in Peach's castle, roughly a decade ago.

"What? What's going on?" Mr. L asked, springing to life. Now this was getting interesting.

"The security system goes-a besrk if the plumbing is broken for-a too long! And if that happens a distress signal gets-a sent and—"

The sounds of squeals echoed through the halls.

"Then Bowser can take advantage."

"Aren't you on good terms now?" Mr. L said, thinking back to the last Mario Kart race he saw.

"It's-a very give and-a take."

Bowser's loud roar sounded through the castle. " **BWAHAHAHA! STEALTH ATTACK!"**

The Green Thunder scoffed, "Stealth attack, my a—"

"You'll never get away with this!" Mario yelled, though it was unlikely that the king of koopas had even heard him.

"Now _this_ is an emergency!" Mr. L said, grinning. He rubbed his hands together. Ignoring Mario's angry gaze, he rose to his feet and placed a hand on the shorter man's shoulder. "Now, let's-a go."

Mario facepalmed at the use of his catchphrase.

Pulling Mario up to a platform, he teleported them to outside Peach's castle. Though dazed for a moment, Mario sprang into action. Bowser was holding Peach bridal-style, and was running toward the Koopa Clown Copter. Peach elbowed Bowser in the ribs.

"For the _last_ time! I will not marry you!" Peach asserted.

"At least give me your kingdom!" Bowser growled, stomping a heavy foot into the ground.

"Honestly, stop acting like a baby, Bowser," Peach said, still in his arms.

Mario had to stop and stare. He shook his head. Nobody noticed that Mr. L had gotten to work.

Bowser leaped into the Copter—somehow without breaking it—and pressed the button to start the engine. Black smoke billowed from the exhaust pipe, but the copter wouldn't function. Bowser pounded his fists on the control panel. Seeing an opportunity, Peach jumped out and landed in Mario's arms.

"Guys...You might want to move like ten feet away," Mr. L said, a smug expression forming.

"Why?" The plumber and princess said simultaneously.

 _ **BLAM**_

The Koopa Clown Car exploded, covering everyone in soot.

Peach coughed. "I guess that's one way to do it…"

~CBOUT~

Mr. L was not asked back on any additional plumbing jobs.


	4. Esoteric

There was a period of years in which Dimentio was alone. Perhaps not in the physical sense. Sure, he was observed. He was supervised. Perhaps he at heart was the archetypal pubescent filled with angst and a flair for dramatics. Perhaps the only thing that had changed since then was the fact that he finished puberty plenty of years ago.

Even surrounded by his fellow minions, he took pride in sending chills down their spines. Something about the callous undertone with his similies or perhaps how he seemed to be a step above everyone else, tended to be unsettling. And he reveled in it. For how long he was the one on unsolid ground. How the tables had turned! For he was the puppet master!

Or so he liked to believe.

Then there was his fall from grace.

The end of his corruption from darkness.

It left him blindsided. Weak.

Now instead of devious, insane, demented, he was...esoteric.

He looked over at his girlfriend, Mimi and ran his fingers down her back. Goosebumps slowly formed over her arms. Those were the chills he took great pride in inflicting now.


End file.
